five in a row and you are officially cooked
Each card has 24 documented unc behaviors plus one free space (unc admission). Tap every cell that applies to you. Five in a row, column, or diagonal is an automatic diagnosis.
The card is randomized every time. Tap any cell that describes you. A horizontal, vertical, or diagonal line of five = BINGO and an immediate verdict. Marking 13+ cells without a line still earns the "structurally compromised" diagnosis. Your progress is saved in this browser; hit "new card" to reshuffle.
No shame in your damage. Tag a friend. Then take the full Unc Test.